Harry Lauder said it best, "I could tell where the lamplighter was by the trail he left behind him."

When I begin to feel the pain of missing my dad, there always appears an answer. The above quote is my answer this morning. For the last 6 weeks, there is this weight of silence that surrounds me. Each night before I sleep, I say, "I'll see you in my dreams tonight, Dad." Lately there have been no dreams. I long to hear his voice, now silent for me. I long to read an email no longer awaiting my reply. I long to feel the safety and reach out for the comfort that only a parent can bring. I stand alone, now. I look around me, I open the door to the darkness outside, I look up to the sky, down the street, over the horizon. I glance at the picture of a young boy who is very familiar in my own son's features, the photo of the man who was always there for me. Silently, I whisper, "Dad, where are you?" I weep. I remember and I faintly hear him say "Doll baby, I'm here."

I look at my hands and once again, I see the familiar features, the passion, the sublime, the talent, the love, the image; my dad. I remember the great joy of absolute love and tenderness given and taken in his last days. I remember all the times when all else failed, I called dad. There he was - right there. I recall this one incident years ago, I went on a blind date with some guy that I really didn't want to go with but I was afraid to assert myself back then. At the time, I lived in the Northeast section of the city of Philadephia, Pa. This person and I went to the casinos in Atlantic City, NJ. I became increasingly uncomfortable - you know that little voice that tells you run into the bathroom and never come out - lose this guy; he's a weirdo.

I did just that, except my dad always gave me a dime to call him whenever I needed help. Yes, when using the public phone only cost a dime. Well, I called him to come and retrieve me because I was frightened of this person. You know that wonderful man, got into his car and drove 2 1/2 hours on a Saturday night to take me home. He never said a word and I was so thankful, he was there for me.

When I felt overwhelmed and overcome by life's events, dad had the touch; the words, the love but most of all the faith. Dad, who will pray for me now? I still need you. I am overcome this moment - tears silently wash my cheeks. I think of the path that I've traveled and the light that led the way - your love and faith in me dad. I continue the walk alone, knowing that the light I see before me stands the angels who guide me. I'm not afraid, just alone in a world that only you had the vision that is within me - I want to share that vision but there is not another you. So, I wait, I look and know that your spirit in me is the light that goes on. The perpetual light is mine - I now carry the lantern.

Before electricity, people were dependent upon lamplighters to light the gas lamps before dark so people could walk about at night in safety. Without light, the streets were dark and ominous--almost impassable.

How may times have we felt as though we were floundering about in the dark, wishing we had a lamplighter to light our way? Many times we may have been afraid to walk alone and became dependent on others to light the way.

We are all lamplighters at one time or another, both for ourselves and for others. Sometimes it may be dark, but we'll soon find another who has traveled that darkened road before. That person will light our way until we can carry our own light. As long as we see ourselves and others as the lamplighters, we will never have to walk alone again.

Light someone's path so you won't walk alone.

Dad, you are my hero. You are the wings beneath my feet. You are the light that moves me forward. Maybe tonight in my dreams, I will see you again.